Learning Journal 3

Learning Journal 3

Boundaries

What are mine? How do we use them in therapy? Why do we need them in a therapeutic relationship?

This session we did a role play which very much put the focus on boundary making and maintaining. Boy did I have a challenge in Shawn who was relentless in trying to get me as the counselor to feed into his need for affirmation and play onto the childlike state he presented. I began well enough with a brief and slightly rusty nod to the confidentiality and time boundaries of the session with a mention of my level of training. I know there are many other items to mention in a contract/boundary giving section, and now I really wish that I had gone through other things. With hindsight it would have been really pertinent to have mentioned the fact that the session is about the client and not about me. That I am there for the client and that it is not a tijme to focus on myself as a counselor.

The session went well and I felt that I used skills that enabled Shawn to be heard and want to speak. I used minimal encouragers and summarized well. All the basic reflections that help a client to stay on track with their own thoughts. This I feel I am doing quite naturally now so this feels good to have become ok at this. Reflecting and eye contact and minimal encouragers take very little thought for me, theyt just happen now (famous last words). Like changing gear in a car, they just happen. Now I can start to look where the car is going.

The real challenge came for me when I had to start to try to sustain the boundaries as Shawn tried to get me as the counselor to tell him he was ok. “You think I’m ok don’t you?” – which to be fair to myself I must have had to try to absorb over 20 times. I used reflection a few times and simply put that question back to Shawn. I also made an enquiry about why Shawn felt he needed my affirmation? I then spread that net wider and tried to get Shawn to question why he may have needed it from his father, but it kept coming back. I feel that in a real situation I would have changed the tack of the session more dramatically and perhaps even brought the session to a close as it simply would not be safe to have a question put to you so rigidly and so repeatedly and be left feeling the person was mentally stable. I would explore that as an option in supervision anyway.

If I had had a firmer foundation I could have refereed to it. I would have benefitted from talking about the boundaries and my level of involvement and my role as I could have referred to it at any stage. I lacked that reference point and so was left feeling slightly flounder for much of the session. This had an impact on me as the counselor as I became distracted and off-balance around this constant boundary push. It must surely be best to put this to bed as quickly as possible in a situation so that no harm to egos is done and nobody feels hurt or in any way unable to continue and open up. The boundary push had made me feel unsafe and uneasy so it must have the potential to be this way for the client also.